Coping with Feedback
Intense reactions to feedback
Hearing a few judges from a photography competition critique a photo recently was confronting for me. I immediately sat up straighter and I could feel my defence mechanism getting ready to explain why the image was created the way it was. At the same moment, my attack was flanking in from the right, ready to denounce the speaker for the fraud that they are. And all of these intense emotions were for feedback on another photographer’s piece of work. It wasn’t even about my work. Why did I react this way?
The opportunity for a photo critique from professional photographers was offered a reward for the top 25 photographs in each category of the competition. I entered this competition a couple of months ago after my good friend Carlo told me about it. My submission did not make the top 25 so I did not receive any critique. However, my friend was successful and two of his submissions were in the top 25 for the Photo Journalism and Black and White categories. Well done Carlo!
I’ve mixed feelings about photography competitions. I am keen to share my work and see how it stacks up to the rest of the community. However, does the outcome at a competition validate or invalidate my photography? I make photographs as a way for me express my creative side, regain mental health balance and preserve memories. Getting recognition has never been part of the equation. In spite of this, I responded to a part of me that encouraged me to participate. Subconsciously, my desire for recognition was likely stronger than my false denials and attempts at humility.
Regardless of my feelings and thoughts about photography competition, I am surprised by my reaction to hearing people provide feedback. The feedback provided in this situation was not unsolicited. It was one of the prizes for placing in the top 25. In my opinion, Photography is a deeply personal affair and perceptions of merit or quality, highly subjective. An image that works for me might not necessarily strike the same chord with others. I felt intensely aggravated by feedback that talk about how the image could be better if the photographer did this or that. And yet, how can we improve if we do not get feedback and suggestions?
In organising and writing out my thoughts on the topic, I realised, belatedly, that I chose to participate in the competition which had a photo review as a Prize and I chose to listen to the feedback. Defining a path to improvement requires a need to establish benchmarks of where we are now and where we want to be. The act of establishing benchmarks require a great deal of humility and self awareness. Sometimes, the feedback we give ourselves or what we ask of others might make us blush with youthful pride and other times we either can’t find a hole big enough for us to dive into or we disagree with the proffered opinion.
Upon reflection, I think the reason why I bristled at the feedback received is because I do not have a connection with the reviewers. I do not know their background or their preferred artistic styles. Without this context, I was unable to position myself to receive their feedback. But more importantly, I need to take a big bite of humble pie and take things less personally.
I've always asked for feedback from others at work. I strongly believe that feedback makes me improve. And I want to be better, by my own standards and by the standards of people I love and respect. When it comes to photography, I'm always ready to listen to feedback provided by people I have a connection with. I might not photograph in the same manner, but an appreciation of their preferences and their work will help me better understand their feedback. One of the beauty of photography is that we get a chance to see something from a different angle. Multiple photographers making images of the same scene can come away with different images. If that is the beauty and art of photography, isn't it similar to hearing feedback from a different point of view? Will I be as open to receiving feedback from people I do not have a connection to?
In future, before I receive any feedback, I'll gently remind my pride to take a back seat and take a few deep breaths.
Scenes from pre dawn Auckland city earlier this week. The first image is my favourite. It is probably one of my favourites this year. He seems to be bracing himself for a day’s work and I like the way I captured him in full stride. I had previously blown out the highlights of the circular Sneaky Snacks donut sign and I’m glad I was able to protect the highlights better here. Lastly, I have a subproject capturing images of people in fluorescent safety gear. This is a worthy addition.
I've had a couple of portfolio reviews by professional photographers. I didn't find either of them particularly enlightening. It's not that their comments were 'wrong' or 'meaningless', it's more that they knew nothing about me, and the why and what of my photography. In both cases I was also one of many people whose work they were reviewing so I was just the next in line. My photographs, of course, exist independently of me and most people who see them know nothing about me, so I don't believe I can control or explain or determine the 'meaning', assuming there is one - which I don't - of my pictures. But I'm going to take more seriously a critique from someone who has a deeper knowledge of me and my overall approach to photography. I would rather have a critique from a fellow amateur whose work I respect and who knows me, than from the most celebrated of professionals who doesn't.